Dearest Huffington Post,
Where do I begin? You were great, more than great! I loved going to your site as I’m terribly lazy, and for the longest time I felt safe in knowing that you would water down the news perfectly, so that even an under-educated person like myself could paraphrase it, without having to actually read real news. After all, everyone knows that the WSJ is such a snore. Because of all that, we had some really good times together. Thanks to you, I kinda understand the Iran Nuclear Deal better, including the backstory of Obama’s Prague Agenda from 2009. But sadly, this has been a long time coming. You just don’t communicate to me like you used to. Quite frankly, it’s not me, it’s you. Below are some negative thoughts I’ve been having, and why I feel we can’t overcome them together.
1) I hate being constantly tricked into watching HuffPost Live. (I just wanna read the news. I don’t want to watch some almost sexy thang, whether male or female, who is barely legally able to drink, read it off a prompter.)
2) I find it in terrible taste that when it’s a real and serious news story, I have to watch a commercial first. (Hey, wanna see the skinny on the latest incident that is plaguing our racist police state? First you have to watch this commercial for AXE Anarchy scented deodorant!)
3) It’s completely understandable if you want to show commercials during the reporting of Twitter spats, side-boob sightings and any person in the entertainment business that’s going bankrupt. I look at that as my penance for wanting to know further details about any of that trash.
Rather than fighting a losing battle with you, I would rather quit this relationship and break up. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
With much affection…
Felicia Michaels
Felicia Michaels
P.S. Btw, this has nothing to do with the time I sent you one of my blog posts on a hot topic issue, that got 300 likes on Facebook, but apparently your editors didn’t think it was up to snuff, even for the “Parents” portion of the Huffington Post.
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