Safe Harbor

I love America like I love my parents. I understand the sacrifice they made for the things they gave me. Hated when they could no longer give me safe harbor, after having thrown myself too far from their curb. Cursed loudly at them when I had to do things the hard way in order to survive. Made fun of them when they were slow to embrace anything new. Despised them for not embracing the socially awkward who provide the flavor that makes humanity great. Rolled my eyes whenever they embarrassed me in front of others. Tolerated their beliefs because at the base of every fable is a small, smart but often misunderstood moral. Loved them to my very core, sometimes to my own detriment. Clenched my fists, but tried like hell to use rational words first when others sneered that their parents were better than mine. Appreciated their warm hand up after I had fallen, my friends had scattered, and everything looked most dire. Told my kids ad nauseum every moment when my parents made me proud. And finally - I’ll always give them a million chances to show me how great they were all along. What’s wrong if Obama loves America that same way?
I recently performed this piece of writing on Comedy Nation hosted by John Fugelsang.