Beware The Man Cookies

I'm working on a soon to be released project involving freshly baked and delicious little props/cookies that are shaped like men. All types of men. Some in boxers, some in tighty-whities. Most with heroin chic abs, some had receding hairlines, and one even had gray hair and bitch tits. (My personal favorite.) I had I had some left over and asked my youngest twerp if he wanted one. His eyes said yes, but he said quite roughly, "I'm not eating "man" cookies!" And then went back to playing his online game. 

As I left his room I could see he was bummed, but uncomfortable over how he would be perceived if he liked the cookies, even in front of his own mother. Like eating them would be an indication of how he would eventually lean as an individual. Btw - if he did lean in any kind of direction, he should recognize by now he won the mom lottery, because I could give a rat's ass. 

Five minutes later I went back in and said, "What if I broke off an arm, would you at least taste it?" He acquiesced and thirty seconds later, said cookies had no legs, arms or noggins, but under no circumstance were torsos and boxers going to be touched. I quietly smiled and took away the carnage, went into the laundry room and chowed down on my favorite parts of the "man" cookies. 

All that being said, I had a show this weekend where the theme of the show was "If I Ruled The World." I told the story about my son and the "man" cookies. If I did rule the world, everyone on the planet would stop bullshitting around and be made to finally accept without a bat of an eyelash, how everyone else leans, so that a young boy could eat some damn "man" cookies and enjoy their sweet and buttery flavor, without worrying about what it says about him, whatever way he chooses to lean as an adult.