Circle of Confusion

I loved my set in the Main Room at the Comedy Store last night. The "New Blood Show" is run by fellow comic, Tammy Jo Dearen - who's a helluva gal and a complete crack UP!

Going up at the Comedy Store, fills me with a circle of emotional confusion. Excitement for being allowed to grace it's main stage, a humbling and rare occasion at this point in my career. The wonderment of watching other comics at the top of their game in the Original room, free flowing and confident. But mostly, the rawest feelings come from the memories that have stayed with me, in what seems like a lifetime later. All the triumphs, tragedies and infamy; my fellow comedians faced within the very walls of the Comedy Store itself.  

I became a regular there at the ripe old age of 21, in the late eighties. My favorite memories include Richard Pryor, hungrily re-working imperfect bits during the week, so they would be nickel slick for the hot weekend crowd. Kinison dropping his pants in drunken and drug fueled rages, at exiting audience members screaming, "Remember, when this would get a LAUGH!" Roseanne Barr camping out at my house, then getting passed by Mitzi, who immediately put her up in the Main Room, where she proceeded to get the Tonight Show, all during her first dew days in Los Angeles. 

Every corner I spy at the Comedy Store, has at least fifteen nefarious stories attached to it. The drugs, the backstabbing, the favoritism, the lies, the celebrities, the alcoholism, the envy, the marriages, the divorces, the schemes, the hiring, the firing, the banishments, the threesomes, the thievery. Lastly, the small seed of hope we all had, that opportunity might one day come a knocking. 

In my twenties I experienced all of it, as I witnessed the most outrageous, prescient and profound commentary on society. 

my name is in the right hand corner.

This month will mark my third year anniversary of my return to comedy. I'm so goddamn fortunate, to have fallen back in love with it! 

On to other things...

What Was In That Stuff!?! Episode 78 of the Beauty and Da Beast Podcast is UP! 
Look, man to man... That chick in the negligee looks like Joey Diaz in a wig, you gotta get me outta here!!! With special guest Josh Wolf, from Chelsea Lately.
www.BeautyAndDaBeast.com 

Btw - for those of you who don't know what the podcast is all about... It's a lot like "This American Life" but for c*cksuckers. We are now inching our way into 1.5 million downloads! Hooray!!!

In the news...

I recently read a story about a woman getting Botox injected directly into her vagina - she wanted to finally get rid of some pesky frown lines. She's one of those chicks that would do anything to turn a frown upside down! Me personally, I would've just rolled unto to my other side.

Some airline carriers want to implement a new social app when getting your seat assignments over the internet. You choose who you want to set next to, based on the personal information and interests of others. Aargh!!! So now I gotta pay extra for luggage, deal with flight delays and feel like I'm back in seventh grade; when I was ridiculed at a sleepover, by other girls, when they found out that I didn't know what a boner was!?!

Question of the day...

Why do politicians want to align themselves with the Bible anyway? The Old Testament is chock full of stories about gluttony, foolishness and sex. It was like the Jersey Shore gone wild. Moses was the the first real "Situation." In the oldest Torah ever found, it states that as the Red Sea was about to part, Moses turned and said unto the Isrealites, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord.. And afterwards, I better get a threesome out of dis SH*T!!!"

Broken joke alert...

A Recent sex survey reports that women don't care if a man is well endowed. #AsLongAsItGrinsLikeTheMentalist...

I actually wrote that joke after seeing a picture of the actor Simon Baker who plays the Mentalist, in an ad while reading the New York Times online. For some reason, the picture itself, reminded me of the activity partners penis... Honestly, people really didn't like the joke when I tried it in San Antonio and San Diego. Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. I had actually forgotten about the joke. But then the activity partner and myself were engaging in "activities" after I got back off the road, when he whispered into my ear, "That Mentalist joke was about my penis, wasn't it?" I've never had a spit take during sex, but at that moment I was pretty damn close. Now I see billboards all over town with that very same picture of Simon Baker and it makes me laugh every time.

It's this pictures fault...

Public Announcement:

Dearest children, I would gently like to point out that it is neither the dog or myself, that is stabbing the decorative yet functional candles around the house with a number two pencil!!!

Jessica Kook and myself at the MadHouse Comedy Club.

That's all for today... 

I'm off to go figure out how to condense what I wrote above - into 140 characters for my twitter...