This so far is my favorite profile on the dating site I'm on... And it would be incredibly effing sexy if A) it wasn't written on a dating site, B) if it had more then 1 blurred out picture of said Romeo other then in front of a Yum Yum Donuts, C) if he took out the fact that he works at a slaughterhouse in Chino, California.
...My profile may be a turn-off to you - just letting you know. I am going to be unabashedly forthright about my intention here. I am looking for a lover, partner in passion. I am looking for a woman who can embrace a fervent long-term relationship with a man who will love you unconditionally, without jealousy or possessiveness, not asking anything of you but to let me focus my erotic attention on you; A woman who realizes that life is short and bodies are good to have for the time we have them.
I am a man who loves women. Keeping with that love, I love to give women pleasure. This is not to say that I love many, many women in this way, or that I must, because when I find my muse I will want to focus my attention on you. If you are the object of my affection you will be the object of all of it. It is in my nature to be sensually dominant. When you give yourself over to me I will intuitively take control of your natural feminine responses in a firm but gentle way to carry you to the gates of heaven and float you there on a soft raft of intense pleasure. I will want to connect with you and stay connected for hours in divine tantric bliss - and when we come down (or before we start) I'll give you the best massage you've ever had. And if that's all you want that's fine with me. I will never insist on my own pleasure except what is derived from creating pleasure in you...
Do you think it's wrong that I messaged him, "Okay, but can you dance?"
So I'm a guy, I'de call myself more in touch with my emotions than most. But I most of my friends think of me as a manly man, I wrench in the garage, talk nasty shit about anything, all the standard stereo type man shit. So I really want to know what a real woman (oh that is for damn sure you Felicia)thinks about this kind of babble on a profile? Does it come off even slightly genuine? Is he just poppin' shit? If it is genuine, is this dude too scary to meet? You going to end up in a hole in his basement puttin' the lotion in the basket? Or does a real girl get turned off? I did the sensitive thing for my young 20's, and got nothin but broken chicks that fed on trouble, drama, cried while having sex (I'm sorry baby, I didn't know your uncle liked it missionary, my bad, of course we can just cuddle)and usually walked on me, while my ass hole friends got to do whatever they wanted with whoever. so I really try hard to walk the line between being a human being, and not being someone's floormat. So I know the thought of this guy is just what alot of girls say they want, but in reality, is this a dude you'de want to be with? Wouldn't you prefer a guy that would grab ya by your hair and tell you that if you're not naked and sweaty in like five minutes, you're doing something wrong?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, just wanted to shout to you and say I love what you and mutha-fuckin' Joey Coco Diaz are doing, I piss myself listening. Next time Joey is on Joe's show, try not to abuse your Papaya untill you're in traction and show up with Joey. You guys are THE team, and Joe needs your help to alieviate the relentless sausage-fest that has been going on lately. Just kidding, but totally serious. One love kid. Keep up the great work.
And no, you shouldn't have sent him that message- any dude that is into tantric sex, back-rubs, scented candles and shit and hacking up beef for $$$ can already Rhumba your ass into the ground. You should already know that. Recognize.
Thanks for the comment. You're the first person to leave one on my blog. Joey is probably the most interesting person I know! Btw - nice guys are AWESOME! Have a wonderful New Year!
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