1)I am a Sagittarius but I tell everybody I’m a Scorpio.
2)I almost severed my foot in 7th grade during a mishap at a school picnic – but because my mother never sued the school district I got straight A’s through out Junior High School. (I have terrible balance because of this)
3)I run the sink water when I’m using the bathroom at someone else’s house. (Even when I’m just putting on lip-gloss. Weird, I know)
4)During one week of my life I met Steven Spielberg, Jenna Jamison, Al Gore and did the dishes three days in a row.
5)While taking photographs I was once detained by Homeland Security, arrested by the Tijuana Police and snuck into a communist country without my passport.
6)I intuitively know where the carburetor is on any device.
7)I love when I make my little dudes laugh.
8)I can’t swim due to my intense fear of water. (My stepfather threw me in the deep end when I was just learning – cut to the lifeguard rescuing me.)
9)My favorite memory of my Mother was when she would wash our hands together in the sink. (I now do this with my kids and tell them this was my favorite thing I remember about my Mother)
10)I once saw a tree so beautiful it made me cry.
11)I made the mistake once of telling my ex-husband that I saw a tree so beautiful it made me cry – from that day on he thought I was nutty.
12)I grew up in Berlin till I was 11.
13)I have a terrible memory probably due to the fact that intuitively I know where the carburetor is on any device.
14)I’m guilty of plumping my thin white trash lips with injections a couple times a year – then for two days afterwards, when people look funny at me because of the swelling - I tell them I’ve had an allergic reaction… To lip filler.
15)I’ve taught my children to address me as “Beautiful Mommy” before they ask me for things. I’ve also taught them to rub their hands together in a conspiratorial manner when they laugh at others.
16)I hate drinking water out of plastic bottles.
17)I once fell from a burning bed as I was being photographed by Playboy magazine. (The photo assistant was hiding behind the bed and would pop up and squirt lighter fluid to keep the fire going – I fell trying to escape after he got a little over zealous with said lighter fluid)
18)I love spending the mornings with Wendy B, I love traveling the world with Wendy M, I love talking to Clar R and Dana B anytime of day, and I love teasing my oldest friend Jewel S, whom I met when I was 18 in a seedy strip joint. All these ladies have truly been there for me when the sheet hit the fan.
19)I hate Mexican food, people who repeat stories and driving through Pomona when it rains.
20)I like when my dog lies at my feet but hate when he farts while my mouth is open.
21)It takes me a long time to make a decision but once it’s made I never look back. Unless, I can turn it into a joke.
22)I once photographed something so sad, the whole time I repeated over and over in my head, “butterflies, m&m’s and rainbows, butterflies, m&m’s and rainbows…” just so I wouldn’t cry.
23)I have an amazing vintage lunch box collection. (Over 100 of them) Whenever I think about the Sid and Marty Croft portion of my collection I hear angel’s singing in my head.
24)Bud Freidman once made a toast to Richard Pryor and then to me in the same breath at the Improv after I was voted funniest female comic by the American Comedy Awards.
25)I can’t wait to turn 70 so I can finally do things I’ve always been terrified to experience. The top of my list would include shooting smack, skydiving and having someone do golden showers on me. (I’d be 70 and in a nursing home, so someone else would have to clean it up. And yes, I would make whoever is doing the golden shower turn on the sink water in my bathroom first.)
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