A ex-husband is a Male of the order Homo Sapien, suborder, Homo Rectus in the superfamily Cro-magnum, with large eyes wide apart on the head and usually transparent, well-veined intentions. There are about 2,500 species of Ex-Husbands around the globe, and many remain unclassified. Ex-husband Kalifornius lives in temperate to tropical climates where they are among the most widely recognized of all Former Spouses, mainly due to their large egos and remarkable “Bull Sh*tter” talents. Ex-Husbands are sometimes colloquially called “Moth*r F*ckers,” although they are unrelated to true “Moth*r F*ckers:,” which are a kind of “Pr*ck.” In some parts of the southern Appalachian Mountains in the United States they are also commonly referred to as “My Ex, that F*cking As*hole!”
Periodical Ex-Husbands are so “Well-Synchronized” developmentally that they are nearly absent as adults in the, 21 to 27 year-old age group. When they do emerge after their long marital periods, they do so in huge numbers, forming much denser aggregations than those usually achieved by Ex-Husbands. Many people know Periodical Ex-Husbands by the name "Wasbands.” [1]
Note: No periodical Ex-Husbands are expected to emerge in 2008. Next year, however, the 14-year ex-husband will make an appearance in eastern Iowa, northern Illinois, southern Wisconsin, and along the southern edge of Lake Michigan. Dense populations of this brood (Brood XY) will emerge in medium priced bars along riverbanks as well as in suburban Chicago Gyms.
[1] Wasband [wuz-buhnd] -noun Someone who will typically do anything to have sex with some other Ex-Husband’s, Ex-Wife.
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